For All You Greentards That Bought a Prius Three Months Ago – Suck It

Gas is cheap again suckers

That’s right your superior green piety just came to an end fuckers.  I don’t have to hear you endlessly drone on with that superior church lady tone about the joys of a $24,000 car than accelerates like a 1976 Pinto with a stuck choke and a trunk full of rocks any more.

Nope gas is cheap again suckers.  Now I can strut around like a Viagra laced rooster crowing about the joys of unbridled horsepower, comfort and speed.  That’s right I can actually drive uphill without a tailwind.  I can accelerate and merge onto the highway with my air conditioner turned on!  I know hard to believe right?

I know you did the math and had it all worked it all out.  If gas just stays between $4.50 and $5.00 a gallon for the next nineteen years I’ll break even driving my ___________ (insert; Prius, Scooter, Smart Car, or other underpowered wretched dork-mobile here)

But in an economic depression demand falls and when demand falls prices drop.  What won’t drop is the price of your next 55 Prius payments.  Now you’re stuck with exceptionally high payments because you paid full sticker (and probably got the mats and paint sealant too -editor) with all of the other suckers that ran to the Toyota dealer at the same time like lemmings marching off of a cliff.

Now that we’ve established that you are idiots, I don’t want to hear the following bullshit out of any of you in the future;

  1. Peak Oil
  2. Anything related to Al Gore
  3. Electric Cars
  4. Melting Ice Caps
  5. Anything Negative about V-8 engines
  6. Windmills, solar cells, or tidal barrages
  7. Fucking T Boon Pickens
  8. Compact Florescent Bulbs
  9. The reasons I should run my A/C @ 80f
  10. Living off the grid with self composting toilets

The green movement the latest in a series of economic bubbles designed to separate suckers from their money.  At least the .com and real estate bubble lasted 4-5 years.  You greentards cracked after only 6 months of $4.00 gas.  Proving that of the mental weaklings of the past decade you are the weakest of the lot.

14 Responses to “For All You Greentards That Bought a Prius Three Months Ago – Suck It”

  1. Eric said:

    Right on! I’m sure your audience of three middle schoolers will get a right good chuckle out of this, and feel like badasses for reading such a badass blog.

  2. Grumpy Nerd said:

    Dear Greentard,

    Thank you for reading my blog and your kind words. I assure you in fact that literally dozens of pre-pubescent boys read this blog. Not just two or three. And they are all unanimous in their opinion than the Prius is “a slow girls car” that when they actually do get their learner’s permits would not want to drive.

    I myself drive a v-8 powered muscle car. It sounds and drives like a real car should. The Prius on the other hand sounds strikingly similar to my Roomba when it gets wrapped up in a lamp cord. Not to disparage the Roomba because I am pretty sure it will accelerate faster and cover more distance on a full charge than the Prius.

    May your roads always be downhill and your traffic pattern slow. (so that you can actually keep up) And to whomever linked in from your hippie circle jerk thank you for the inbound link.


  3. PriusENVY said:

    Yeah 6 months ago you were up shit creek with your bad ass unbridled horsepower, comfort, speedy cruising mobile. Drive it while you can or better yet let loose and sell it and get yourself a hot GM Suburban at 1995 prices tomorrow. In time you’ll be eating these words dumbass.

    Sorry that was a compliment.

  4. TJ said:

    Ah, the sound of the ignorant. You do know that gas will go back up, right?

    As it is, I own a Mustang, and a Prius. The money I save on gas with the Prius feeds my Mustang, so I win.

    Have a great life.

  5. patsparks said:

    Last laugh will be on us Prius drivers, when the economy is strong enough that the supermarket can afford to put you back on as a shelf packer again and the price of gas resumes its upward spiral, who will be laughing then?

    Congrats on laughing as the collapsed economy that will knock the feet from under your friends the unskilled workers before long. Remember 10+% unemployment? I do. Think the ride ahead will be a good one? Happy to be sending you gas money to Iraq where your tax dollars are also going? Good for you.

  6. Иосиф Виссарионович Сталин said:

    Dear Camerade Grumpy Nerd,

    Wait a bit of time for oil prices to go up again. And then enjoy two problems you will face:
    - gas going expensive again,
    - your ass being fired because of recession and having no money to afford even the “cheap” gas.

    Power to the People and not Oil Companies,

    Иосиф Виссарионович Сталин

  7. Greg said:

    Excellent viewpoint…

    1. Oil reserves will not increase; there is no more being produced naturally.

    2. Al Gore won in 2000.

    3. Electric cars should only be used on slot tracks.

    4. Ice caps are trending downward; there is nothing to say this trend will continue or reverse.

    5. I’d rather have a twin turbo V6

    6. Solar energy will never run out in your lifetime

    7. He’s an idiot

    8. Buy the next higher “equivalent” bulb when buying CFLs.

    9. Actually, 76°F is more appropriate, depending on your location. The idea is relative comfort, not absolute temperature.

    10. I’d rather live of the grid w/ solar.

    I will still be spending less on gas than you and enjoying my drive just fine, regardless of the price of gas. Conservation is a mindset and yours is…yeah well…

  8. treebark said:

    Anybody else get treebark in their thighs?

  9. Streetmakarov said:

    Save Bookmark

  10. Jenna said:

    That price makes me wanna buy a 1985 Suburban that gets approximately 3 miles to the gallon.

  11. gonzobrains said:


    Someone is running scandisk on the planet and you’re a lost chain.


  12. SM said:

    At least if the ‘burban breaks down, you can fix the damn thing, instead of taking the Prius to a specialty mechanic and getting RAPED because it’s designed not to be worked on by the “common” (i.e., those without LOTS of money, tools, and time) man - fuck Toyota, and their underpowered, ugly, planned-obsolecence-embracing piece of shit - Hyundai has just made a hybrid with REAL power, anyway, with the same drag coefficient - and it doesn’t look like something out of a Fisher-Price catalog, either! So go drive your Prius (or better yet, Prius C(unt Edition)) off a cliff, loser. The rest of the UWSI-affected greentards will thank you for cutting your carbon emissions even further, and contributing your ever-polluting body to the great compost bin of life.

  13. scott said:

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    spanned@outfielder.performance” rel=”nofollow”>.…

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